My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
