I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
