I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
