My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
