oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
