i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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