I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
