I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
