let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
