You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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