he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
