Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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