I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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