I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
