We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
they're like a gay fantastic four
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
