garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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