where does the pee come out of this thing
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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