i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
