i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
whose ass print is on the piano?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
