Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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