first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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