I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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