How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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