I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
