Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
