You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
