So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No subtext here. People are naked.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
