He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
