I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
