the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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