Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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