At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
