I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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