Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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