Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
