that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
