I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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