im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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