Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
