but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
