It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
