return my video game
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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