Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
