Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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