I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
