I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
