Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He has the fingertips of a God
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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