im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
