We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
