There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
