can u get pink eye on your cock?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
